the silence

they needed help
someone to watch house
and pets
I said okay

now I sit plunked
seemingly in the middle
of nowhere
it might as well be
nowhere
because I am stuck here

my life as I live it
is suspended
~ over
for two weeks

that seems like a long time

my only company
two phantom-like cats
who pretend not to know their names
and an old
harrumphing dog
who startles the silence often
with hacking dry heaves
followed by a whistling wheeze
and a soft groan
as he settles down again

I guess I should be grateful
for that noise
as the silence here
feels deafening
like the stark silence
of a mausoleum

it's not the comfortable quiet
of my cave at home
I love that silence
because I make it
I choose it

so God
where are You
in this silence

I didn't choose this
but
I know You are here

and I want to find
where
You are hiding
what
You are saying

in the silence

"...but the Lord was not in the wind...the Lord was not in the earthquake...the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice." (I Kings 19:11-12)