wrestlings

God
i want to draw near
but i have some questions
i'm wrestling with
that want to push me far

i pray that i would not let
my questions become
a wall between us
but i would allow them
to bring me nearer You

that they would be
a bridge to You
and not a door
shut between us

i do not want
to leave You
i do not want
to be far

keep my heart soft
in the midst
of my wrestling
i know the answers
are not found
apart from You

the answers i need
are found in You
if i will press deeper
if i will not let myself
be too dismayed
by this awkward place
if i will keep coming
to You

You who stretched out the heavens
who laid the foundations of the earth
who formed the spirit of man in him

You who are steadfast
and big enough
for all my questions
all my wonderings
all my wrestlings