words of mine

a winterish chill bites hard the air
that should be late spring warm
a freakish storm
a welcome reprieve from
the relentless approach
of summer heat

the cold keeps me inside
cozy with books and coffee
thoughtful from the things i read
yearnful and a bit peeved
that i cannot write
like the ones whose words
my soul leans into
and admires

anxious to know when words of mine
that tease and play hide and seek
and other mind games that
cause them to run from me
will at last come home

and show their true selves
bold and unafraid to give
revelatory voice
to the muffled deep

wrestlings

God
i want to draw near
but i have some questions
i'm wrestling with
that want to push me far

i pray that i would not let
my questions become
a wall between us
but i would allow them
to bring me nearer You

that they would be
a bridge to You
and not a door
shut between us

i do not want
to leave You
i do not want
to be far

keep my heart soft
in the midst
of my wrestling
i know the answers
are not found
apart from You

the answers i need
are found in You
if i will press deeper
if i will not let myself
be too dismayed
by this awkward place
if i will keep coming
to You

You who stretched out the heavens
who laid the foundations of the earth
who formed the spirit of man in him

You who are steadfast
and big enough
for all my questions
all my wonderings
all my wrestlings